You hear your parents talk about the song they danced to with their high school sweetheart at prom all those years ago. You feel tears catching in the hollow of your eyes when that song plays for the first time since you last hugged your ex. You cringe and shudder, hearing the opening notes of the emotional mumble-rap your boyfriend showed you your freshman year of high school.

It’s no surprise that music makes us feel sentimental, especially when we attribute songs to particular people. That being said, as much as music has helped me through breakups, it has also held me back. You think you’re healed, then that song that the surfer boy you dated for a year and a half plays again, and there you are preaching the idea that “healing isn’t linear.”

This playlist is a collection of some of the most notable songs I’ve taken from my exes — the songs I can still stand, anyway — from the boy that took me on his boat when I was sixteen, the first boy I met in college, the city boy that I still think about sometimes, the boy who I wrote some of my favorite poems about.

Music has always been the primary way that I connect with people. A concert as a first date? Perfect. Letting me follow you on Spotify before I even know your name? I already did it last night! It’s also the most notable way that I keep in touch with my memories. I can’t listen to D’Angelo without thinking of the nights I spent snuggled up on a twin XL mattress with a boy I still miss sometimes. I hear “Marinade” by Dope Lemon and remember the night my ex and I went stargazing and got sand in our hair, letting the foggy sea air fill our lungs.

These are my songs, and I hope you have your own. Even the exes who I look back on with disgust and disdain gave me some pretty decent song recommendations. Maybe this says more about my type than anything else; regardless, these songs remind me of the good moments, of sweet and soft memories.

I hope you enjoy this playlist! Reminisce the day away!

Playlist: Songs I Stole From My Exes