The Space Between Us

Here you and I sit, in my dorm, on my twin-sized bed with our backs against the wall. You seem calm, you enjoy this silence in the air while everyone’s party voices are muffled by the door. I, on the other hand, am feeling my stomach start to spiral. The wish for a soft intimacy, but plagued with fear of the unknown and the possible embarrassment always seems to be the ill mixture. We’ve been talking for a while. Sometimes the conversation topics are mundane; “How were classes?” “What do you like to do in your free time?” “Where will you be this Summer?” Then the topics became more personal at the most random times. “What’s something you wish people would say to you more often?” As we’re in line for the salad bar or that time we were in the mailroom, “I really love the way you smile with all your teeth.”

I try my best to answer them all truthfully, but a part of me is nervous to be that honest. Being honest means I have to let go of that protective nature I surround myself with, because to love is to possibly be hurt. However, I do crave that soft-belly desire. I want to be pem and allow myself to hold your hand whenever I please. I want to rub my thumb over your knuckles and talk until our tongues go numb and we can’t stop laughing at nonsense. There is no dying need for sex or to profess myself with the title of your girlfriend, but if we could just let our fingertips press and melt together, I will be content.

I hope these songs make you want to reach out and the hold hand of that special person, despite the fear it can take to get there.