Talking TikTok and "Sofia I'm Sorry" With Jesse Detor
Image courtesy of Dan Morgan
When Jesse Detor arrived at Berklee College of Music in Boston, she knew she wanted an all-female band. A self-described “girlrock” artist, from the beginning of her music career her work has always been female centric.
Image courtesy of @gracepucel on Instagram
“On orientation day, my group was all going around and introducing ourselves,” says Detor. “All of the women were vocalists, but I needed a band! Then, this one girl behind me said she was a guitarist and I literally whipped around.” That girl was Emma Harner (she/her), the current guitarist for Detor’s band. Accompanying her are Daisy Soper (she/her) on drums and Sam Anderson (they/them) on bass.
Detor aims to bring together the edginess of her rock roots with her more confessional, indie lyrics. “So many of my songs were originally voice memos, recorded in my room in the dark,” Detor says. The artist has been making songs forever, using songwriting as her outlet to express emotions.
Detor consistently takes advantage of the virality TikTok can provide, using it for much of her marketing. She has had the opportunity to post bits and pieces of her songs throughout their songwriting process to see what people like. Typically the melody and lyrics are completely up to Detor, so to have other people give their input not only helps her, but adds a layer of interactivity for listeners. Many of Detor’s songs have blown up in this way, with users like coolkidleyla posting videos calling Detor’s newest song, “Sofia I’m Sorry,” the “Hot girl song of the year.”
“Sofia was the girl who was always better than you. She’s everything I wanted to be, but never felt like I could,” Detor explains about her titular inspiration. Born out of a complicated relationship, “Sofia I’m Sorry” serves as a letter to her ex and her new girl, Sofia. The song depicts a messy situation, where “you can’t put actions out into the world and not expect them to come back.”
The music video, directed by Cyn-Ean Yu, hammers this message home. Detor acts as a vengeful spirit, opposite her partner, played by Kellie McMickle. Literally having been stabbed in the heart by her partner’s words, the singer bleeds out while gasping, “You’re as fucked as me.” The song is desperate, as Detor tries to get through to her ex again and again, repeatedly using Sofia to try and trigger some type of reaction. But, ultimately, the artist might beg her to stay, “But you’ve already gone.”
This song is one of six, a part of the extended release of Detor’s full first EP. “Mirror,” the first song of the bunch, was put out September 14, followed, of course, by “Sofia I’m Sorry.” The rest of the songs are titled “Juno,” “Hands,” “Sloan,” and “Hollywood,” set to release once per month. Explaining the intentions behind the EP, Detor said, “Originally they were meant to represent the stages of grief. Now, I think it's shifted more to the scope of responses I had to this relationship.”
Seeing as there are only five stages of grief, “Sofia I’m Sorry” was originally not a part of this EP. However, due to its popularity on TikTok, Detor reconsidered. “I want all of my music to be something to connect with — a weirdly specific experience we all went through,” explains the singer-songwriter. Her honesty here, too, is what makes the song so relatable. It delicately paints a story where both parties share guilt, a sentiment many can relate to.
Detor shared her take on the downsides of Tik Tok, as well: “On the other hand, sometimes it can make it harder to be more genuine. I hate to get sucked into the comments and take [the music] too seriously.” Often, the singer is able to come back to earth with her real-life friends and fans through house shows and other live performances. Reconnecting with her bandmates and audience allows her to balance these dimensions of her public persona.